Mind Wandering

Sometimes I wonder.

I sit: and I wonder where you are, how you are doing.

I wonder how your family is, and how you are handling everything.

I wonder what music you are listening to.

I wonder if you are still up, as I sit alone in my bed, wanting to call you or text you, but not knowing if I should.

I continue to contemplate, and I begin theoretically.

I wonder what would have happened if I had never met you, or never gotten to know you the way I did.

I wonder the consequences of my actions, and if I had acted differently, where would we be now. I wonder if things are meant to be, or just random.

I still sit, and wonder.

I wonder if I am crazy for thinking this much. I wonder if you are doing the same wondering.

I think of you.

I wonder why you hide your feelings.

I wonder if you hide them because you are scared of being vulnerable in front of others, or if you do it out of self denial.

I wonder if you will ever show me your feelings again.

I wonder if you ever read this, if you know how I feel.

I wonder,

and I don't sleep.

Call me.